Full Transcript: TUT - Episode #26 - When do you take a break?

Welcome to the Transformer Unicorn Tales. I'm Katie, your ever-transforming host. This is a podcast about awesome transformations, food for thought, and occasionally unicorns. I am so excited that you're here listening to this. Let's get started.

Hello and welcome back to another episode of the Transformer Unicorn Tales podcast. When you are listening to this episode, I am already on vacation, which means I'm recording this before my vacation. So if you have any reactions to this episode, I might react after my vacation, I don't know yet. But just telling you upfront, the episode is called, "When should you take a break?" And, yeah, I am on a break. So, just leading by example here. But what I want to talk about today is, yeah, when do you take a break? When do you follow the advice? It's like, "Hustle, hustle, hustle," or like, "Rest, rest, rest, rest."

Because you might not know this, I don't know how many episodes you have listened to. But I had a burnout now two or three years ago. And since then, it has been a roller coaster when it comes to that, you know, taking into account your energy levels.

So here's the thing. Like, on the socials, or even if you just talk to people, there are like two voices. Camp one is, you know, "Hustle, hustle, hustle." If you just work a little bit harder, then you will get those six-figure numbers, you will get everything you want in life. And then there's this camp number two, who is like, "But we're not here to hustle, we're not here for the rat race. We're here to relax and chill, and like, live on the beach and work from the beach." And sometimes it's just black and white like that, and there's no in-between. And especially, you're like trying to heal from the shock and the exhaustion of a burnout. But those are the only two voices that you can find, and there's like nothing in-between. You just kind of go, "Okay, somebody's going to rest and go on a vacation and just enjoy the beach, and get so bored. Let's you go. Maybe it's time to hustle, and then you go hustle." And just keep going, and then you're not making the six-figure numbers, because obviously you're still exhausted, so I'm already down. So it has been a journey, but I think today, as I'm recording this, it is time to share, because I feel like I'm over that. I feel like I have something to add to people who may be struggling with this as well, and it might work for you as well, so I want to share my two cents about this.

So, my first thing, when I had the burnout, people told me, "You know, you've got to relax. You've got to relax and just take your time, maybe take a vacation." And even other people with burnout, and we're talking to me, "You know, I needed six months to just go abroad and just enjoy your vacation to finally be able to recharge." But to be honest, for me, it just brought me even lower and lower, so we think like that, because it leads to this inaction. So, you know, your body just freezes up, and that's not exciting for it. Your brain is not like, "You know, maybe I should get better. Your brain is like, you know, it's kind of like the principle of use it or lose it." Your brain goes like, "Okay, then I guess so, just do nothing here."

So, then what I did was to try, you know, just push. I even did, like, the hell week, if you know that concept, I did a hell week, to, like, you know, see how far I can push things now. Again, not the solution, like, you know, I've been pushing before as well, obviously, that didn't lead to great results, so what do you do?

And this is what I found. This is what works for me. Sometimes you need to push. That sounds like someone is just not, like, getting a baby or something. You need to push. But that's, like, a perfect example as well. Like, you know, if you cannot rest in that moment, you need to push. And there are other moments like that. So, when the house is on fire, when your life is, like, in shambles, if someone tells you just relax, just relax, you know, manifest, I don't know, it's not going to help. Shit on fire. You got to do something. You have to push.

But you need to have the energy to push. So, what happens is it's not necessarily the rat trace, but just, like, this race of life that you get into sometimes where you just, like, keep running and running and running and running and running and nothing is getting better or different. You're just getting more and more tired and just exhausted. So, you first have to, like, fill up the battery and then you can push. Yeah? Even, like, if you're pregnant, I guess you're, like, they tell you, like, I don't know, so I've never been there myself. But, you know, it's, like, take a deep breath to push. So, the breath is, like, already enough to just, like, oh, good. Then you can push. I don't know. Again, I don't know. That's that time where my thoughts are going right now. We're going with it. And here's the thing.

So, like, of course you get tired when you work really hard and everything. But for my brain, the burnt-out grade, it was like, oh, shit, you know, I'm doing it wrong again. I'm so tired. Maybe I should just rest some more or I don't know. Maybe I should not have pushed so much. But then that leads me into just, like, you know, being stuck and immobile and just, like, this is not helping either. So, um, here is, like, how I have been trying to, like, fight through all of that noise and advice to figure out what works for me.

Number one is for the ladies specifically or people who have a period and some kind of cycle throughout the month. I think everyone might have this, but I know it's a person with a period. And talking to other people with periods that they have this. There are some moments in the month when things are just not so bright and shiny and fast and I just cannot. So, in the past, you know, the world is not built for that. You just have to push through it. You just have to work through it. So, I don't do that anymore. Um, I do not have a super exact period, but I have, like, the app that, like, you know, kind of, like, I can guess which week it will be. And I just try to plan less and do less during that week. So, I take care of my body. I'm not going, like, "Oh, shit, that's not a good time. It's never a good time. Let's be honest. It's never a good time. Yeah. So, you're just going to accommodate it to, like, not feel even worse on top of already feeling kind of down. Um, and so, sorry, there's something in my eye if you're watching. I just need to get it out.

And when I say do less, I don't necessarily mean do less than just, you know, like, lay in bed and be, like, "Well, I'm a woman now. And I can't do anything." It's do different. So, during my, you know, like, any other time of the month, you know, I can record podcasts. I can, um, have meetings with clients. I can do all of those, like, social things, go to new places, try out new things. And during that week, what I usually do is maybe catch up on an online course, do more things that are just, like, you know, in my bubble, but not stop. And maybe I'm going to, like, acknowledge some people are in super pain. That's not me. Some people have terrible headaches. I have sometimes that as well. I just go with the flow pretty literally. And not just, like, you know, give up and go, "Oh, I can't do anything now. Well, because look at me being sad and a woman. Um, but do different. So do things that take care of me, maybe go for a short walk. Maybe lay down for some restorative yoga. Because those things keep you alive that you don't feel, like, dead inside that you're, like, burnt out, but you feel, like, you know, I am still a person that can function and take care of herself. And it's way more positive than just, you know, like, I must rest now. Because that just that did not work for me at least. They just like, you know, I must rest. Um, and I'm not saying you have to be productive and you have to do things. I'm just saying that you have to choose things or you should choose things that, like, work for you to take care of you. Instead of just, like, you know, becoming this victim of whatever is happening to you because it's happening once a month. Like, come on. You're not a victim. It's there every month. You know, it's coming. So we can just as well take care of ourselves.

Um, so I have been focusing on trying to balance this, pushing and going hard for things and then taking it softer when it comes to other moments of the month, for example. Or, you know, when I, and I'm so proud of this, like, I have not been sick in ages and I should not knock somewhere. Okay. Um, because anytime I feel like, you know, my throat doesn't feel perfect or I just, like, feel a little bit already under the weather, I take the whole day off. I just go body. You take your time to figure this stuff out because we're not going down. We're going to go up. I just read or again, like, do online courses or whatever works for your brain in that moment. Yeah. Um, and then just take it softer because then next day or the day after I can, like, go back to, like, 100% pushing. And that's also something that I learned. That, you know, especially after burnout, I found it really hard to trust myself when I felt really good. And I could do a lot. Because I thought, yeah, but what if I'm going to overdo it again. So again, it's this balance between the pushing and taking it softer. And honestly, the last two weeks, I felt like so freaking amazing. I just, like, work all day, like, do all things. Um, if you know I'm new to driving and just drive to new places. And I'm like, what's going on? But I thought, what if I instead of just questioning myself, everything with time, like, am I okay? Am I okay? Like, should I be doing this? I just trust the flow. Like, I have been listening to my body now way better than ever before. So I know the signs. I know that if there's something my body will let me know. So, for example, this morning, I woke up feeling a little bit more tired and I thought, okay, I got you. We're listening. We're not going to put so hard today. And that's it. And then I'm recording a podcast now. So I feel like, wait, weren't you going to take it easier? As the day went by, like, I ate my breakfast, I woke up nice and slow. It took a long shower. And then I sat down and I thought I'm just going to read a book. And then my body was like getting sluggish. My brain was like, I don't know. I don't know. Not really pleasing. And I thought, do you want to record a podcast? So my brain was like, yeah. So you can really just have this internal dialogue with yourself. And there are a few things to watch out for. It's not shaming. So my brain is not shaming me for how dare you take a break now. You should be working. Why are you reading a book in the morning? Isn't something for the evening? What are you doing? It's not that. It's really that my brain is like, I'm kind of bored. So it's not a negative voice like whispering. And also when I'm doing things, it's not like from that, you know, like you have to do more than you will deserve a break. Just one more thing. And then you can have a break. Because I learned the past few years that those are really toxic thoughts. So it's that now it's like, wow, look at me. I get to do this. And I really enjoy this.

And I think that's also a really important question. Like, am I enjoying what I'm doing right now in this moment? Be that resting, be that reading a book, taking a long shower. Because, you know, even like self-care things can be like, it doesn't really feel good, but I must rest now, you know. Because then why are you doing it if it doesn't feel good, right?

And the same goes for the pushing things. Except there are moments when it does feel uncomfortable. There's like no, there's like no easy way out of this is there. Yeah, sometimes you have to do uncomfortable things and push a little bit or take a little bit more rest than you might want to in that moment. And then that's again with the toxic voices around. Yeah.

So another question that I ask myself, then, is do I need a break right now? Or am I just avoiding something? Because I have become really good at that at one point. And from that, many, many people know me for being like a real bookworm because I used to read, I still read a lot. I just don't use it anymore as an avoidance mechanism because I used to do that. So I would be like, oh, I should probably reach out to some new clients or I can just read a book. And yeah, so then I would figure that thing out in my head and then I would go, okay, so do I actually need a break right now from my work or whatever I'm doing? Or am I just avoiding something else? And what I then learned is when I'm avoiding something, I taught my brain to just do that exact thing. So whenever it goes into the avoidance thing, I go, excuse me, I thought we were friends here. We're not doing avoiding things. And then I do that exact thing that I was avoiding because. And this is like the magical shit. I feel so much better about doing it then because I'm like, look at me, let me do it. Like, I noticed that I was avoiding it and I'm doing it and it's like, this feels good.

Yeah, so that's like how I have been doing lately and it just feels so much better. So I'm going to try to like summarize my tips because I didn't even all over the place a little bit. So let me just like try to summarize it. Yeah, there are periods when you want to push and there are periods when you want to take it slower. And there are like patterns in that so you can probably already accommodate at least for the patterns. For example, your period. And it is hard to find balance between the pushing and taking it softer. And there is a lot of like in between. It doesn't have to be like 100% going and like doing nothing. There are so many like shades of gray in between. Yeah. And a few questions that can help with that is, am I enjoying what I'm doing right now? Whatever it is. I'm going to work, relax, whatever. And another one is, do I need a break right now? Or am I just avoiding something? Because if you're avoiding something, it's maybe time to do that exact thing.

And yeah. If you do too much, that will lead to a burnout. And if you do too little, it will lead to feeling like you're stuck and just not alive inside. Just going to say it like that. Yeah. So it is that, that amazing skill of listening to your body, to listening to your thoughts and befriending your body and your brain in a way that you can work in a nice way together. I just really wanted to share this because I'm such a good place right now. And if you've listened to my previous episodes, you know that I'm not always in this place. But yeah, you know what is possible. So I just wanted to be like, you know, this is also possible guys. We got this. We can get here. Yeah.

So how I want to end this episode is by telling you that I am on vacation when this episode comes out. So I am taking an actual break. There are a few reasons for that. So there's a lot going on in my personal life right now as this episode goes out by the way. But also like leading up to that time, of course. So I just know that I need more time to focus on that and something has to give. So I decided to just take a break from the podcast from my work so that I can focus on that. It's a dark month. And I know that I have to take a little bit more better care of myself in ways that are not work-related because then I might use them as avoidance mechanisms. And yeah, I have also been noticing that I have been using social media, my website and stuff like that as and avoidance mechanism already to be like, there's like things in my body, you know, just telling me like maybe we should take a little bit slower, like a little bit longer range. Just close your eyes, please for a few seconds. And then I would keep scrolling. So I know deep down that I need this break right now. So I'm going to take the break. And I will be back in January again with some amazing news because like I said, the last few weeks I was feeling really good and I already prepared some cool things for January so that I can really just take the break as a break.

Yeah, and there will be one more episode this year after this episode, and that will also be recorded before my break so when you hear this and hear the next episode know that like, I'm not there. I'm on vacation already. But of course feel free to react and reach out. I'm just letting you know that it might take a little bit longer to get back to you. Yeah, so there are amazing things coming in January, but this is it for today.

And if you are not in an amazing spot right now. I have an episode called you are not alone. Please listen to that one, even I listen to that sometimes as well. It's really great pick up because I know like, happy is not sometimes what you need or want to listen to and you don't feel so good. And I want to end this episode by saying if you feel like you need a break right now and you're not in a place where you can give yourself that permission. I'm going to give you the permission. It's okay to take a break. Everything will be fine. There are always more things to do. And it's never a great time to take a break. So just take it when you need it. It's going to be fine. That's it for today. I think you're awesome.

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